Hawkins County Republican Primary

Surviving The Local Primary

In approximately 26 hours the local primaries will be over.  Finished.   I, for one, will be overjoyed.

See, local primaries are very different from state primaries.
State primaries are a cake walk.

After all,

On Silence, Insanity, Butt Crunches, Reagan, and Unindoctrinatableness… Um, can that be a word?

After a few months of silence, Uncle C called last night.  He didn’t inquire about anyone’s health, grades, jobs or general well-being.   He did encourage me to keep my children home from school on the “National Day of Indoctrination.”

National Day of Indoctri… what?

I knew Obama’s speech to students, which is scheduled for tomorrow, had knotted up the stretch-cotton bloomers of some conservatives.  I didn’t realize they had given it a name or declared the whole day a wash.  Yep, according to Uncle C, all good Christian Americans will reject Obama’s attempt to indoctrinate America’s youth to socialist ideas  (you know, ideas such as education is important, stay in school, be responsible, work hard and other pervasively evil, similarly socialist shit like that)  by declaring Tuesday “National Keep Your Child Home from School Day.”

In Hawkins County, this will be followed by “Steve, the Republican Attendance Supervisor, Hauls Your Sorry Ass To Truancy Court Day.”

Bat, Ball, Glove, Helmet, Kevlar Vest

After several attempts to contact Rogersville city officials to ask when they might find time,  amongst all of their tax raisin’ and salary negotiatin’ duties, to officially opt out of Tennessee’s new park carry law,  I received no reply.   Or I missed the reply.

Then, Pop forwarded me this NRA alert.

Gloom, Despair and Agony on Me

You know my life kinda resembles a bad Hee Haw skit.

If it weren’t for bad luck, I’d have no luck at all.

The Conversation @ My House

overheard between two six-year old girls…

Ms. Diva: “Um, let’s paint a Father’s Day card…”
Miss O: “Father’s Day?  How about a Mother’s Day card.”
Ms. Diva: “Mother’s Day is over.”
Miss O:  “Father’s Day is a long time away.”
Ms. Diva: “Let’s paint a picture of Obama!”
Miss O: “Yeah, we love Obama!”
Ms. Diva: “It can’t be a bad picture of Obama like that picture of  him smoking a cigarette.”
Miss O: “Yeah.  I saw that.”
Ms. Diva: “I see it on the news when they’re talking about Obama.  It’s a bad picture.”
Miss O: “I saw this thing… and it said `Obama Is Wrong!’ I saw that.”
Ms. Diva: “I hate people who say things like that.”
Miss O: “My friend at school said – and this is not true – Obama takes newborns and kills them.  Like he throws them in the river or something. That’s not true. It’s not.  At all.”
Ms. Diva: “Crazy. People are crazy. Why do they talk about him like that?”
Miss O: “It’s like, Obama won, People, that’s no reason to start a riot.  Get over it already.”
Ms. Diva: “Yeah. If they don’t have something nice to say, they should just keep their faces shut.”
Miss O: “Yeah, because we like Obama.”
Ms. Diva: “I love him more probably.  I have posters and stuff.”
Miss O:   “Oh.  I. don’t. think. so.  Sistah.”
Ms. Diva: “I love him so much I’d marry him.  Mmm-hmm, I went there.”
Miss O:  (Giggles) Reeces pieces, 7-up, mess with me, I’ll mess you up… Hey, let’s ask your mom if we can paint the orange juice container!”

Are are we gonna be on teevee? Yeah, purty much.

Over the past few months, life has handed me several unexpected twists and turns and I’ve been busy navigating my reality.  (See. The truth about why blogging has been light is far less complex than those vodka-pickled theories of my friends.)

February and March were spent tending the extremely-ill Ms. Diva as she endured two surgeries, three chest drainage tubes, a GI tube, a few weeks of intravenous antibiotics, and enough Demerol and Morphine to make ten grown men slobber on themselves.

She was diagnosed with the flu on a Monday.   By the following Wednesday, she was admitted through the Holston Valley ER to the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit  with strep pneumonia, empyema and a long list of other complications.  She was placed in isolation for nearly three weeks.

I haven’t arrived at a point where I can discuss my daughter’s near-death experience without feeling compelled to weep, testify (which would also require me to sing a bit of righteous black gospel music and trust me, we don’t wanna go there) or compose a sonnet containing words like hope, innocence, strength, blessings and miracles.  This would not only blow my reputation as a smartass – a month or so from now, I’d almost-certainly gaze back upon my brief stint as a soulful singing sonneteer and be mortified.

So, let’s skip to the conclusion:

Diva recovered and will be sharing her story on WJHL (Channel 11)  during the Children’s Miracle Network Telethon.  She’ll be on at 8pm tonight.   Now, cross your fingers the live portion  goes smoother than the pre-recorded interview during which she answered each question Phillip Murrell asked with the same three words: “Yeah, purty much.”

Avoiding Analysis

When you return to blogging after a long break,  it can be awkward.  You feel obligated to post something intelligent, enlightening,  or worth the wait…. umm yeah.  I got nothin’.

my mind is a blank.
er, well, not entirely.

There’s that mental picture of Toby Keith buck-nekked and

Children of the Mountains

I’m not a regular television viewer.  (This isn’t one of those highbrow I’m-too-good-for-teevee things. It has more to do with the fact that, when we watch prime time, the kids tend ask to uncomfortable questions, such as “what is a sexually-intense thriller?” It’s easier to stick with Disney or Nick where the characters are fictitious, fashionable, perfectly safe, and seemingly sexless.)  However, after I read local inkslinger Joel Spears’ missive about the 20/20 special “Children of the Mountains,” which aired last week,  I knew I’d have to track it down and watch.

Stimulus, Recovery & My New Crush on Phil Roe…

Hank Hayes covered the Rogersville/Hawkins County Chamber of Commerce legislative breakfast Saturday morning, where  Phil Roe discussed the stimulus bill.

“We got it at 9 o’clock yesterday morning and voted at 2 o’clock yesterday afternoon,” Roe said of the bill. “No one has read this bill. I can promise you not one senator, not one representative in the United States Congress has read that.”

Full report here.