Surviving The Local Primary

In approximately 26 hours the local primaries will be over.  Finished.   I, for one, will be overjoyed.

See, local primaries are very different from state primaries.
State primaries are a cake walk.

After all, Continue reading


Stimulus, Recovery & My New Crush on Phil Roe…

Hank Hayes covered the Rogersville/Hawkins County Chamber of Commerce legislative breakfast Saturday morning, where  Phil Roe discussed the stimulus bill.

“We got it at 9 o’clock yesterday morning and voted at 2 o’clock yesterday afternoon,” Roe said of the bill. “No one has read this bill. I can promise you not one senator, not one representative in the United States Congress has read that.”

Full report here.

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Discussing a Debacle

For several weeks (those being all the weeks since the November election) I’ve been watching these Northeast Tennessee Republicans strutting around, prematurely crowing and using bad eggs for chicken counting.  One could almost predict their lack of humility and faith in foregone conclusions would come back to bite them.

It did.

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The Simply Red Future of Tennessee

For the first time since the Reconstruction, the Republican Party has taken control of the Tennessee General Assembly – top to bottom, house to senate, the whole bicameral enchilada. (Go ahead. Take a moment. Laugh or Cry. Whatever suits you.) Personally, I think there’s a damn good reason why state political history is what it is – but eh, politics are kinda like fractions. Every now and then, folks need a refresher course.

Naturally, the Republicans are being terribly humble and gracious about their victory while the State Democrats are setting speed records for fastest finger-pointing in all the land. They’re blaming Obama and the National Party for not paying more attention to the state and/or McCain’s unusually muscular performance – which essentially means the same thing.

I guess the Obama/Baptist backlash might have been a factor. Heck, the fact that UT football wasn’t distracting enough Republican voters in the East might have been a factor. Mostly though, the Republicans won because they worked for it. They ran hard, mean, aggressive, poured money and manpower into the campaigns and did not let up until the polls closed on Tuesday. Meanwhile, the Tennessee Democratic Party was off… well hell, I don’t know what they were off doing but whatever it was, they apparently weren’t doing it right.

So what’s done is done. Better luck next time – and now we all look forward.

Folks around here seem to have different opinions on what this Red Assembly in the Orange State will mean. Mr. C thinks the Republican Majority means we should all move to Kentucky. Uncle Rube, on the other hand, claims a Republican Majority will ensure that nothing much gets spent – as opposed to Democratic Majorities, who hand out funding like it’s somebody else’s money.

I don’t agree with either of them and foresee lots of changes under a red rule – some good and some bad. Continue reading

Four Long Years

Mr. Smartypants and Ms. Diva were sitting on the couch earlier this morning watching the Disney Channel – oblivious to the fact that today we make some type of history.  Therefore, I felt the need to announce it:

“Today is The Day.  We’re going to elect a new president.”

Diva jumped up and down, using the couch as her own personal trampoline, “Go Obama! Woo-hoo! Obama, Obama, O-bam-a!”   She must have incorrectly assumed I’m so excited about history being made that I could overlook the whole “no jumping on the furniture” rule.

I’m not.

“Sit down Obama Mama – or I’ll vote for John McCain twice,”  I told her and she, having no knowledge of election laws, plopped on her bottom immediately.

See, both of my kids are Obama supporters: each voting for the candidate in mock elections at their respective schools – one more reluctantly than the other.  Last week, we discussed their reasons for selecting Obama.  Ms. Diva voted for Obama because “he’s hotter than the old guy.”  Diva’s friend, the Delightful Ms. O, voted Obama because “he wants to help the poor people.”  Mr. Smartypants voted Obama because “if McCain kicks the bucket while in office that psycho lady is taking over the country.”

Smartypants, who is clearly the less enthusiastic supporter,  didn’t jump on any furniture today.

He simply asked: “So, when will Obama take over?”

“In January.”

“How come we didn’t do this last year?”

“Presidents are elected to a four-year term.”

Then, he jumped to his feet, “WHAT? What does that mean?  We will have Obama as President for four years?  I thought we were just voting for him for, like, a year or something…  to try him out.  I don’t want him for four years! Well – No Obama then. Not for four years.  That’s a long time.  I’ll be in Middle School…  and I don’t want McCain either.  I don’t like either one of them.  Not for four years.  They’re both stupid.”

“Well, who do you like?”

“Neither one of them.”

“Is there another candidate you did like?”

Smartypants shrugs, “No… none… I don’t know… maybe we should have went with that Mitt Huckafee guy.”

Then, he grumbled: “This means you’ll be hogging up the TV and watching the news all night.  Doesn’t it?”


“SEE! SEE WHAT I MEAN! His Four Years hasn’t even started and he’s already messing up my life!”  Mr. Smartypants has now wandered off in search of his shoes, muttering, “This is going to be the four longest years ever in the history of forever… so let’s just get it over with already.”

No, I didn’t have the heart to tell him Obama is eligible for two separate four year terms.  He has until Middle School to figure that out – but for now, we’re off to “get the first four over with.”

Northeast Tennessee Will Stay Red For A Good Long While Yet…

Ms. Diva came home proudly wearing her “I voted today” sticker.

Her primary school held a mock election. She cast her vote for Obama – because, she says: “He’s brown and I’m brown.”

She was less than pleased when McCain won.
Of course, I can’t say I’m surprised.

Two weeks ago, Mr. Smartypants’ 9-year-old friend informed me that I should vote for McCain because some people say Obama doesn’t believe in God – and that could be very bad for our country.  She also tells me that – no matter what – she will never become a stripper because strippers are inappropriate.

The thing is: growing up Northeast Tennessee means her odds of becoming a stripper are way higher than the odds of her becoming a Democrat.