My Daily Horoscope for October 21:
Strange dreams of a sexual nature may disturb you this morning; rest assured that just because you dream it, you are not a perverted freak. Everyone dreams off-colour, ribald doozies on occasion, and no one has been locked up for it yet. If you analyse your dreams carefully, you will find that they are often about things that seem to have nothing to do with the imagery you recall.
Anyway, I’m bummed out that it was all wrong because strange dreams of a perverted nature would have been better than the one I had about riding in a Pinto with Obama and Bill O’Reilly while screaming, “If you two don’t shut up, I’m pulling this damn Pinto over!”
Perhaps I should avoid Taco Bell food and Fox News before bedtime.