Dear Googler

If you wish to search for two prominent Hawkins County citizens, who are rumored to be having an affair – you should probably spell their names right.

Furthermore, while I think seeking information about the personal lives of others likely indicates something is lacking in your own, I feel bad that you have searched so diligently for this information – and that your search landed you here many times only to be disappointed.

To make up for that, I shall now tell you the truth as I know it.

It’s really none of your business.

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