Primary Fighting in the 1st…

A rundown on the latest in the 1st District Congressional Extreme Fighting Challenge.

Earlier this month, our potato-headed incumbent congressman, David Davis wrote a letter, which basically stated, “I’m pro-life-ier than my opponent.” Roe reponded, “Are Not.” (Apparently, this one-up-on-the-same tactic is a 2008 campaign trend – as evidenced by Tinker/Cohen’s “Obama Loves Me Bigger Than You” battle. )

Anyway, a few days later, Phil Roe’s campaign released this ad:

which is different from Phil Roe’s initial ad: “I fished and farmed with my Daddy jus’ like you’ens prolly did” (The fishing ad, I think, is modeled after the 2006 David Davis Goes to Church ad, wherein Davis lip-syncs a hymn. The lip syncing incident is yet another Republican scandal Times-News reporter Hank Hayes failed to investigate and report to the public.)

Roe turns loose the gas-pumping granny. Everybody loves the Granny because she looks feisty – and viewers have this abiding hope that the ad will suddenly turn into one of those ol’ Smoky Mountain Rasslin’ Federation promos, wherein Granny will threaten to smack-down Davis with her pocketbook or hit him over the head with a folding chair.

In fact, most of us were rooting for it.

It doesn’t happen – so overall, the ad was a little disappointing.

Davis has now decided to release his own “Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire” ad – and tells Hank Hayes at the Kingsport Times-News about it. (He would have told those folks at the Herald Courier too, but everybody knows they’re jerks who won’t print Davis’ press releases as a news stories.)

The purpose of the ad, according to Davis, is to correct an “implication” that he [Davis] personally took PAC money when, technically, he never touched it. While he cannot deny the big oil money, which poured into his campaign coffers, he disputes the allegations that he “pocketed” the money… because the money never actually went into his personal pants pockets.

Sources who once stood close to members of his campaign even say, “Hell, his pants pockets ain’t even big enough to hold all that special interest money.”

I also noticed that in the ad Davis’ campaign used 2006 footage of the candidate chatting with area voters. Some suspect that after an exhaustive search, staffers couldn’t find a single voter in the district willing to appear in Davis’ 2008 ad – not even after being offered free SnoCones and some earmarks.

Nevertheless, Davis doesn’t seem worried. Apparently, an earlier poll, which he paid to have performed by people who don’t live here, shows him being in the lead. Roe, however, said polls commissioned by his campaign indicated that a surprising 70 percent of East Tennessee voters could not even name their congressman.

My poll yielded results similar to Roe’s. In fact, 72% of the voters surveyed in my poll thought their congressman’s name was “D. Money-Grubbin’ Slimy !@*#$%, which leads me to assume many have their congressman confused with their Lt. Governor.

Anyway, with the election coming up in a few days, Davis will spend his time marketing himself to area voters, whom he apparently assumes are dimwitted and can better understand a campaign pitch if its accompanied by a banjo (such as in this twangy jingle written by Davis campaign chair Sen. Rusty Crowe. And in keeping with Southern songwriting tradition, Crowe was hopped up on Busch beer when he penned the ditty. I mean, he must have been.)

Unfortunately, after hearing the tune, most district voters responded, “If he’d released a CD, we would have all voted for Democrats.”

On that note: Rob Russell has his three minutes on WJHL, during which he did not behave like a smacked ass at all.


3 thoughts on “Primary Fighting in the 1st…

  1. Pingback: Gas Pumping Granny : Post Politics: Political News and Views in Tennessee

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