After playing outdoors yesterday, the boy and his sister quietly slipped inside and headed straight to the playroom. Their heads were bent together in secret discussion. These discussions are usually followed by the sound of shattering glass, a minor explosion, a fist fight or some other noise which indicates destruction. So, with the mommy trouble radar on high-alert, I tiptoed off to spy.
The Boy met me halfway.
Boy: “We were just wondering what caterpillars eat.”
Me: “You cannot keep caterpillars in the house.”
Boy with feigned look of confusion: “Huh?”
Me: “Do you have a caterpiller in the house?”
Boy: “Uh, I was just wondering what they ate.”
Me: “Take it outside.”
Boy: “Take what outside?”
Me: “The caterpillar.”
Boy: “What caterpillar?”
Me: “You are not keeping the caterpillar inside. Take. It. Out. Now.”
Me: “Because I said so.”
Me: “When you come back inside, we’re going to have a discussion about your newfound tendency to lie.”
Boy: “Technically, I didn’t lie.”
Me: “You weren’t truthful.”
Boy: “But George Bush… ”
Me: “Don’t start.”
Boy: “Well, it said on television…”
Me: “You can’t believe everything you hear on television.”
Boy: “But you said… ”
Me: “Look, it doesn’t matter what the President does or does not do. In this house, we do not tolerate any type of dishonesty.”
Boy: “But if the President…”
Me: “If George Bush jumped off a bridge, would you jump too?”
Boy with big tearful eyes: “No. I’m sorry. Are you mad at me?”
Me: “No. Just don’t lie.”
Boy turns to leave room.
Me: “Aren’t you forgetting something?”
Me: “The Caterpillar?”
Boy: “Oh, I didn’t realtazize you still wanted me to take it out.”
Yep, he’s going to be a Republican when he grows up. I just know it.