Since the croc danger reports have started popping up again, the mommy alerts have been hitting my inbox by the dozens.
While I certainly appreciate the FW:FW:FW: concern for my children’s feet and the overwhelming desire to ensure their tiny toes remain intact – fact is we’ve heard these escalator horror stories since 2006.
During the first round of emails in Fall of 2006, I lectured my children about the dangers of wearing these hideously ugly shoes, and I applauded each time I Hate Crocs Dot Com predicted their demise.
At one point, I banned the shoes and promoted Old Navy flip-flops instead.
Unfortunately, Nana kept buying the offensive foam footwear in fun fashion colors. The kids, emboldened by her unwavering support, kept asking for the return of their crocs (despite the fact that I’d bought other shoes, lots of shoes, cute shoes, shoes with cartoon characters, glitter strings, and nifty lights in the heel.)
Finally, Smartypants requested a family meeting to “regotiate” the shoe ban. During this meeting, he pointed out there are no escalators in Rogersville.
The ban was lifted, and to be quite honest, it was never about escalator safety anyway – but my own personal dislike of the shoes. I simply do not understand what is so wonderfully appealing about Crocs that they’re worth staging a coup. Is it because they’re cheap? Is it because they’re comfortable? Are my children just too lazy to tie real shoes and prefer the convenience of slip-ons? Have they not noticed the shoes are ugly?
Of course, my mother reminded me that back in the 80’s, I had 34 pairs of jelly shoes and an extensive collection of gaudy plastic bangles. So, who am I to judge?
Besides, over the last two years, we’ve spent a small fortune on jibbitz. So, unless someone can prove the shoes actually cause cancer or they’ve decided to install an escalator at the local Sav-a-Lot shop, this isn’t a battle I care to repeat.