Hi. How have you been? So anyway, I was on the internets browsing around. And I saw this nifty little gadget over at Say Uncle‘s place. It reminded me of you. I think you should buy one immediately. I’ll pay for it.
I realize you have always a bit leery of firearms – but this gun isn’t intimidating at all. It’s a cute little flashlight gun, perfect for a novice.
So, go ahead and order it. It’s on me. Really, it’s the least I can do. After all, I did kick your trifling unemployed ass out of my house. In retrospect, I can see how this experience was probably difficult for you, even if the judge did award you half of my money.
So, this is my way of making amends.
PS – Don’t read the instructions. They’re probably written for gun experts and would just confuse you. Call me when it arrives. I’ll tell you how to work it. K’ sugar?