The True Cost of School Fund Raising

  • Travel Expenses for Driving around Trying to Find 12 Poor Suckers to Buy a Bucket of Frozen Cookie Dough = $25.
  • Leaving Office to Pick Up Frozen Cookie Dough =  $29
  • Communication Expenses Associated with Calling/Texting Buyers to Notify Cookie Dough has Arrived = $25
  • Travel Expenses Spent Delivering Frozen Cookie Dough = $40 (due to increase in gas prices)
  • Cost of Hiring Private Detective to Track Down Missing Buyers for Purpose of Debt Collection = $200
  • Cost of Prozac, which will be needed, during attempted Debt Collection = $30
  • Cost of Unclaimed Cookie Dough, for which I have to Pay= $121
  • Estimated Cost of My Extended Stay in the Loony Bin after Cookie Dough-related Breakdown = $3530

Joy of Knowing my Children Can Attend the Mega Party and Ride the Inflatable Slides for 90 minutes = Priceless ….  $4000


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