Charmin Experiment

Yesterday, I removed an empty toilet paper roll from the holder.

I checked the linen closet to verify that there were extra rolls; yes, four of them. So, I wiggled the Charmin Ultra Roll extender bar. It wasn’t stuck. So, I tested the spring inside. Squeak, squeak. It seemed to be in perfect operating order.

So, I closed my eyes and tried to imagine that I had a penis, arm pit hair and tendency to emit unpleasant body odors. Then, I repeated the whole test all over again.

I checked the linen closet to verify that there were extra rolls; yes, four of them. So, I wiggled the Charmin Ultra Roll extender bar. It wasn’t stuck. So, I tested the spring inside. Squeak, squeak. It seemed to be in perfect operating order.

Does it have anything to do with position? Perhaps if I peed standing up while scratching body parts…. might that have something to do with it?

You know, someday, I will figure out why the presence of testosterone in one’s body eliminates their ability to put a new roll of toilet paper on the holder…. and I’ll formulate an antedote.

Until then… I’ll just have to keep buying bigger rolls.

 

Where Can I Buy This?

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