Kleinheider reminds us that Mike Williams hires Democrats, takes money from Democrats, and attends fundraising parties hosted by Democrats – while Silence wonders how this might play in a district so Republican, we put Democrats on display as “rare breeds” at the county fairs.
Well, the information doesn’t shock me. (Well, ya’ll didn’t think the Republicans were going give him money, did you? And have their names appear on his finance reports? What are you — Crazy? )
Still, I don’t think it will make that much difference in Hawkins County. Around here, an Independent is considered the same thing as a Democrat anyway – in that they’re Non-Republican. Those who will be swayed by party affiliation already support Faulk. Others… well, it seems voting Non-Republican in state and county elections is a whole lot like drinking habits of The Bapitsts.
They do it. They just won’t admit it.
Now, the question remaining is:did Williams dress-up like Dale, Elvis or the Easter Bunny for the big event?
He: “Did you hear? McCain is running A Broad!”
Me: “Why is he running abroad? Is this some kind of publicity stunt or… ?”
He: “No, I mean he picked a lady to be his Vice President. Just now!”
Me: “Who?”
He: “McCain!”
Me: “No, I mean who did he pick?”
He: “Sarah Somebody the Governor of Something.”
Me: “Palin? That can’t be right. Are you sure?”
He: “Yeah that was it.”
Me: “Seriously? Wow. Huh. Well, shit.”
He: “I kinda like her.”
The [internal] memo, which examines the “party raiding” conducted by Northeast Tennessee Democrats in aiding Roe’s narrow victory, was done for well-known GOP donor and Davis campaign supporter John Gregory by the Warrenton, Va.-based HoltzmanVogel law firm.
For the record, this article means we’re going to continue to debate Tennessee Primaries. And if Ron Ramsey and the TRP presume David Davis is wrong and say they prefer the system as it is – well, they are ungrateful fools. In fact, they should be glad the Great and Powerful David Davis has attempted to educate voters about the flaws.
Pay no attention to that Gregory man behind the curtain.
Frphlmpt.
You know, it would be so nice if we could all just accept that Toto bit someone in the ass and move on?
Just guessing here – but the since last thing the Lt. Governor needs is another Senator unwilling to view Democrats as the spawn of Satan, which they aren’t (Naifeh just makes them seem this way.) And considering that Finney’s opponent, Doug Overbey, has a history of voting for non-Republican speakers AND that out of out of 3,556 Hawkins County voters voting in the Republican Primary – only 2439 of those cast their vote for Mike Faulk. (Faulk was running unopposed, which means there were 1117 members of his own party in his home county who did not give him a courtesy vote.) I’ll bet Ramsey secretly supports Finney’s recount… and wishes the state of Tennessee had some method of handicapping political elections that would give Finney a 140 point headstart.
Also related: Davis’ theory might not be complete crap. According to captainkona, “TN420 successfully solicited 116 pledges from Liberals of all stripes (mostly here in Bristol) to vote in the Republican primary for your challenger… [skip] I told you over a year ago, via email, that I would see you out of office in the next election. And that’s exactly what happened. Don’t [expletive that rhymes with duck] with the Left. I’m captainkona, I was instrumental in your loss to Roe, and there’s not one [same expletive + ing] thing you can do about it.”
According to GOP gospel, I have sinned. A lot. Shirley Ward would not be pleased with me.
So, how does one seek redemption? Shall I fast? Make a confession to my State Committee woman? Maybe there’s a Boot Camp for Wayward Republicans? And what of those bad GOPers who’ve led me into temptation?
I’d dropped by the school/polling place to chat with Smartypants’ new teacher. I had questions about how to be a cool 3rd grade mom, such as: Am I supposed to accompany him to class on the first day? Do other parents do this? Should I just dump him out front and not call him sweetiepie in front of his manly 8-year old friends? I need to know these things so I don’t wreck his elementary school rep, you know?
As we were finishing up, a little ol’ lady exited the building talking on her cell phone. “It kept telling me I forgot to mark somebody. So, I went back and marked it. Yeah, I’ll bet people probably did. . Lord, you know he’s sure ta get the big head now. He’ll get the shock of his life on down the road.”
The lil’ old lady was the the mother of one of Hawkins County more influential Republicans.
The candidate at-risk for hazardous head-growth was Mike Faulk.
WTF?
I’ve felt stressed and a tad snarky all week. I’ve had a hard time staying focused. Even worse, my nervous teeth-clenching habit has returned. Well, it never technically went away but it seems more pronounced of late. I’ve caught myself gritting my teeth when I explain to the 8-year-old that it is necessary to wash your armpits – even if you’re not planning to let people sniff them – or when I read the news. In fact, I nearly broke a molar over this mess. Oopsie, 420,000 gallons of oil in the Mississippi… and we’re quickly moving on to more important news: Obama is the David Hasselhoff of politics.
Gah. What is wrong with you people? Do you see why I must drink? Do you?
Oh, and I’m out of beer.
Anyway… what we were talking about? Yeah, my depression. It’s not clinical, at least my physician doesn’t think so. As a matter of fact, he doesn’t think I’m depressed at all. He says I suffer from more of a general all-purpose type of crazy, which he calls cynical smartassedness disorder. According to the Doc, this disorder doesn’t require meds and will not prevent me from owning a gun or entering any foreign country. It does, however, increase the likelihood I will spend my twilight years living in a relative’s attic and throwing plastic fruit and discarded wigs (two things all respectable southerners have in their attics) at the neighbor children while I yell rude things.
Other than that my prognosis is good…. if only I could shake this severe “dammit, I can’t take another thing!” feeling which has plagued me all week.
You know that Constitutional Amendment, which protects the right of the people to keep and bear arms? The 2nd one? Well, good news. The Supreme Court has decided the amendment actually protects the right of the people to keep and bear arms. Clever bunch, aren’t they?
Anyway, this is a huge deal in my neck of the woods. So, I’ve been busy pontificating in ink – and recommend you go here for discussion on the ruling.
BUT before I go back to detailing the wisdom of the judiciary: I wanted to muse aloud upon the 5-4 ruling. You understand that’s a very close number, right? In case you’re not a math whiz: it’s the difference of one with the four dissenting justices being Breyer, Stevens, Souter and Ginsburg.
I hate manipulation of any type. I’m tired of it. Americans are constantly being manipulated by news media, politicians, special interest groups, ad companies, spouses, children, extended family – heck, even my dog manipulates me. I certainly don’t want to add to the daily assault. This is why normally I would tell you – in a very forthright, non-manipulative way – Joe Powell has posted his interview with Rob Russell, Democratic Candidate for the 1st Congressional District. You should go read it.
The problem is, however, I know most of you. I lost 73% of the readers from East Tennessee at the word “Democratic,” didn’t I? Nevertheless, I think it’s important that you have this information. So – what other choice do I have but to try and manipulate you into clicking the link. (As long as I’m up-front about what I am doing, then it’s not as reprehensible as when the other guys do it, right?)
Unfortunately, I’m no master at manipulation. So, I had to conduct a bit of research into how it’s done before I could get started. This means I visited some Republican websites, Democratic Websites, Toys R Us, and Bill Hobbs. Now, I’m ready to give it a try:
Please start the music. No really, you must. It’s not the same without the background music.
My fellow voters, readers of this blog, friends of the internet and family: I am not going to use flowery, possibly plagiarized rhetoric to appeal to you or point out that you’re being duped. I am not going to mention that the incumbent, David Davis, might be wrong for Congress because he is beholden to big money donors or that his opponent Phil Roe has based in his entire campaign not on the issues – but the fact that he’s not David Davis and how “David Davis looks weird and smells slightly of bologna”. (Phil didn’t say that, but he is running an attack campaign. And I needed to make a bold, derogatory reference to the other guys while claiming I would make no derogatory references about the other guys, so I exaggerated, which seems to be acceptable when engaging in manipulation.)
I have too much respect for you to resort to those tactics. I know this is not what the voters in the district want. You want something better. You deserve something better. (Indicate willingness to give the American people what they want – unlike the other guys – even if you really don’t know what they want.)
See, I realize (as if to imply the other guys don’t) – we’re all in this together. Regardless of what side of the fence we’re on, we’re all hard-working, decent Americans, who share many of the same concerns and simply want to elect people who will represent us, our district, our people. (Establish sense of unity and cooperation.)
We want officials who will work toward economic stability. We’re tired of worrying about our jobs being shipped overseas. We’re tired of low wages, living from paycheck to paycheck and being without access to affordable health care. We’re tired of the needs of corporate interests being served before our own. We’re worried about the cost of the food and energy, things we so desperately need in order to provide for our families. (Instantly tapping into fears is common manipulation technique. Here, I’ve targeted worries about economy, job security, and general fear of deprivation – which are somewhat universal, but depending upon the audience, the text can be altered to create hysteria or sense of urgency about Muslims, Mormans, terrorist garb, fist bumps, global warming, immigrants taking over the southwest, patriarchy, black people with a chip on their shoulder, girls who run for President, the dangerous influence of old hippies, religion as a dominant power, war – and a general summary of the current administration’s exploits can be offered in order to exacerbate the country’s BDS.)
And we’re worried about the future of our children and what problems they will face – what kind of world we’re leaving for them. (Invoking the parental concern/responsibility has always been used as a technique for manipulation – but became the standard in 1996 after it was proven beyond the shadow of a doubt most parents were outrageously susceptible to such things.)
This is why it pains me to see you being manipulated by the media, tricked by the system and treated as though you cannot make your own decisions. We all know being a Democrat in this neck of the woods is like wearing as cloak of invisibility as far as the media is concerned – but sometimes lack of information is a form of manipulation too. And it is unfair to you as voters, as readers, and as viewers.
So, I’m not asking you to go read Joe’s blog just because you may be able to increase your earning potential by 52%, minimize the appearance of line and wrinkles, boost antioxidants and become aware of money-saving opportunities. I’m not asking you to read it just because some studies (notice I didn’t cite the source) have proven reading Joe’s blog can add five years to your life, may produce pheromones which make you more attractive to the opposite sex and can even increase the size of your breasts (or other body part which causes you to feel less confident) without surgical procedures.
No, there’s something bigger at stake here: your chance to be informed, involved and active in government. See, I believe you know what’s best for you and your family. I am confident that, if you are given the information you need, YOU will make the right decision, a good decision, the one that is right for you. I trust in you. (Flattery) So, I’ve decided it’s time to take a stand and I’d like you to join me. (Bestows power while at the same time Implying it’s patriotic duty to follow and do as instructed in order to avoid domination by others. )
I am not suggesting that you vote for Rob Russell. You can determine which candidate you support without my input or influence – but you should be aware of all the options, the candidates and the positions before you make this decision. Yeah, this means checking out Mahmood (Michael) Sabri, Joel Goodman and James Reeves too.
Then – if the Republicans continue their 130 year tradition of kickin’ donkey butt: at least we can all say it has been a fair and balanced fight. Seriously, we don’t want people running around thinking Republicans won just because the election was influenced by the press, do we? We want to win based on our viewpoints and ideas – if we can… right? (Equivalent of “Whatsa matter? Are you Chicken? Bock, bock.)
Also (for conspiracy buffs and loons) if you don’t follow the link, you’ll miss the part at the end where they reveal the nefarious, radical plot hatched by hippies in 1968 and financed by the Bilderberg Group to plant Democrats within the Republican party, where they would be better poised to take over the government, then the nation: a plan which is now coming to fruition. Or maybe that was some other blog. I can’t be sure. You could go check though.
And finally, if you love me…
If you’ve ever loved me…
If you like me just a little bit…
If you are smart, kind, wonderful, and decent…
If you are one of us and not one of them…
If you never steal candy from babies or mistreat poor defenseless puppies, you will go read this post.
And honestly, I’m surprised you haven’t been reading Joe already. I mean everybody is… well, all the cool, smart and pretty people anyway. I hear he hangs out with actors and rock stars. Plus this girl from Canada probably reads Joe and she’s on TV–>.
The Shill of the Brethren called a few days ago to announce, “The Republicans aren’t pleased with you.”
WAIT. Before we proceed, I’ll need a disclaimer.
[DISCLAIMER: The following transcript may contain politically incorrect statements, stereotypes, profanity, brief nudity, mild violence and a general disregard for the Republican party. It probably won't have all of those things, but just in case, reader discretion is advised. Any resemblance to AP content is purely coincidental. All opinions and statements herein are solely those of the individual persons or participants in the conversation, and are not adopted or endorsed or verified by any national, state or local political party, candidate, County Commissioner Charlie Newton, my hairdresser or the Ron Paul Truth people. While efforts have been made to ensure the accuracy of this transcript,DeMarCaTionVille cannot accept any legal responsibility for errors, omissions, misstatements or mistakes in the transcript considering the conversation took place during the TMC airing of The Trouble With Harry. So, I may have missed some things. And for the record, I do hold the Shill in high regard. I just can't hold him there very long once he starts talking, because I tend to get bored, drop him, and wander off in search of beer and ear plugs... only to come back later and realize I've forgotten where I put him. Good thing I've got a couple of spare Republicans lying around to displease... otherwise, I'd be without a hobby, aye?]
And finally, if you love me…
