Phil Roe: Psychic?

Congratulations Congressman Roe?

The election isn’t until Tuesday.
Phil Roe must have a psychic amongst his campaign staff.

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Davis Concedes

TriCities.com reports that Congressman David Davis has conceded the District-1 Senate Republican race to Johnson City Mayor Dr. Phil Roe - even though ya’ll broke the law and he’s just doing his job by pointing it out. News Channel 11 reporter George Jackson interviews Davis about his plans for the future.

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David Davis and Sour Grapes

Defeated congressman David Davis, who has been supplementing his post-election diet with massive quantities of sour grapes, has apparently failed to garner any local sympathy or support for his “the Democrats Did It!” act.

So, he’s taking his show on the road.

The Times-News reports the politician has hired a national law firm that has worked on recounts to examine the issue, which according to everyone else is not really an issue.

It does appear there has been some voting irregularities in the Republican primary,” Davis said. “It does appear Tennessee election law may have been violated. We are working with a constitutional law firm to protect the voting rights of Republican primary voters. This is not about David Davis or Phil Roe. This is about the sanctity of the voting process, which must be protected.”

What “Baloney!” This is not about protecting the sanctity of the process. This is about a guy, who doesn’t want to go down in history as the first incumbent Republican to fumble a 1st District election since 1932.

Meanwhile, an estimated 25,000 voters, who actually did support Davis, are now kicking themselves and pretending they voted for Roe. Oh, and blogger Joe Powell has offered a bit of advice on how to deal with the 1st District mess: Vote for Democratic candidate Rob Russell instead.

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Desaturating Davis?

I am not a supporter of David Davis.  Just in case there’s someone new here, I want to be clear about that.  As a matter of fact, so there can be no misunderstandings – I’ll go ahead and tell you I’m not voting for him this week. There are at least 11,005 reasons why.

Still, when I stumbled across this side-by-side at TriCities.com – it struck me as odd-looking enough to mention.

Perhaps it’s just me but the color seems off.

Davis has the pallor of the creepy guy who refuses to come outdoors and instead spends all his time swatting at imaginary bugs and being suspicious of the microwave.  Roe, on the other hand, seems rosy cheeked and ready to take on Congress.

Now, this is the BHC file photo for Davis: they’ve used it before. So, it wasn’t desaturated for the sake of the side-by-side – but still… here’s a Times-News side-by-side for comparison.

So, what do you think? Bad photo of Davis or bit of media funny business?

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Primary Fighting in the 1st…

A rundown on the latest in the 1st District Congressional Extreme Fighting Challenge.

Earlier this month, our potato-headed incumbent congressman, David Davis wrote a letter, which basically stated, “I’m pro-life-ier than my opponent.” Roe reponded, “Are Not.” (Apparently, this one-up-on-the-same tactic is a 2008 campaign trend – as evidenced by Tinker/Cohen’s “Obama Loves Me Bigger Than You” battle. )

Anyway, a few days later, Phil Roe’s campaign released this ad:

which is different from Phil Roe’s initial ad: “I fished and farmed with my Daddy jus’ like you’ens prolly did” (The fishing ad, I think, is modeled after the 2006 David Davis Goes to Church ad, wherein Davis lip-syncs a hymn. The lip syncing incident is yet another Republican scandal Times-News reporter Hank Hayes failed to investigate and report to the public.)

Roe turns loose the gas-pumping granny. Everybody loves the Granny because she looks feisty – and viewers have this abiding hope that the ad will suddenly turn into one of those ol’ Smoky Mountain Rasslin’ Federation promos, wherein Granny will threaten to smack-down Davis with her pocketbook or hit him over the head with a folding chair.

In fact, most of us were rooting for it.

It doesn’t happen – so overall, the ad was a little disappointing.

Davis has now decided to release his own “Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire” ad – and tells Hank Hayes at the Kingsport Times-News about it. (He would have told those folks at the Herald Courier too, but everybody knows they’re jerks who won’t print Davis’ press releases as a news stories.)

The purpose of the ad, according to Davis, is to correct an “implication” that he [Davis] personally took PAC money when, technically, he never touched it. While he cannot deny the big oil money, which poured into his campaign coffers, he disputes the allegations that he “pocketed” the money… because the money never actually went into his personal pants pockets.

Sources who once stood close to members of his campaign even say, “Hell, his pants pockets ain’t even big enough to hold all that special interest money.”

I also noticed that in the ad Davis’ campaign used 2006 footage of the candidate chatting with area voters. Some suspect that after an exhaustive search, staffers couldn’t find a single voter in the district willing to appear in Davis’ 2008 ad – not even after being offered free SnoCones and some earmarks.

Nevertheless, Davis doesn’t seem worried. Apparently, an earlier poll, which he paid to have performed by people who don’t live here, shows him being in the lead. Roe, however, said polls commissioned by his campaign indicated that a surprising 70 percent of East Tennessee voters could not even name their congressman.

My poll yielded results similar to Roe’s. In fact, 72% of the voters surveyed in my poll thought their congressman’s name was “D. Money-Grubbin’ Slimy !@*#$%, which leads me to assume many have their congressman confused with their Lt. Governor.

Anyway, with the election coming up in a few days, Davis will spend his time marketing himself to area voters, whom he apparently assumes are dimwitted and can better understand a campaign pitch if its accompanied by a banjo (such as in this twangy jingle written by Davis campaign chair Sen. Rusty Crowe. And in keeping with Southern songwriting tradition, Crowe was hopped up on Busch beer when he penned the ditty. I mean, he must have been.)

Unfortunately, after hearing the tune, most district voters responded, “If he’d released a CD, we would have all voted for Democrats.”

On that note: Rob Russell has his three minutes on WJHL, during which he did not behave like a smacked ass at all.

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Hey Hank, Here's Your Sign

The Kingsport Times-News helps catch bad guys… and their good deed almost makes up for the lopsided political coverage of late… okay, not really.

C’mon! Yard signs? Hank, you actually emailed a candidate to ask how many yard signs he’d distributed throughout the district? Were you being serious or is was this your journalistic way of saying: “Neener, neener, neener! I have The Power!”

You know – I get this sneaking feeling we’ve moved beyond not covering a candidate for reasons you think are valid or because readers haven’t expressed an interest and into more of a “these people have annoyed me, so HA!” type of situation.

And maybe some of us bloggers were a bit harsh with our truth-telling. Maybe we picked on you a little too much. My Mama always said you catch more flies with honey than you do vinegar… so, I’m willing to meet you halfway. What if I volunteer for the Russell campaign AND give Rob $5? Oh, and does this count as a yard sign?

Then, if I asked very nicely – such as:

Dear Mr. Times-News Reporter:

As a reader of your newspaper, I must say your political coverage sometimes brings tears to my eyes. (It does. It really does.) And I would be ever so appreciative if you could cover the Democratic candidates in this election as proficiently as you’ve covered the Republicans. Could you please do that? Please? Oh pretty please with a cherry on top… or a beer. Your choice.

But after this, I’m definitely going to need the beer.

A.

Would something like that work?

If not, I’d feel compelled to tell you – I’ve always liked Don better anyway. Neener, neener.

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Hey Hank, Here’s Your Sign

The Kingsport Times-News helps catch bad guys… and their good deed almost makes up for the lopsided political coverage of late… okay, not really.

C’mon! Yard signs? Hank, you actually emailed a candidate to ask how many yard signs he’d distributed throughout the district? Were you being serious or is was this your journalistic way of saying: “Neener, neener, neener! I have The Power!”

You know – I get this sneaking feeling we’ve moved beyond not covering a candidate for reasons you think are valid or because readers haven’t expressed an interest and into more of a “these people have annoyed me, so HA!” type of situation.

And maybe some of us bloggers were a bit harsh with our truth-telling. Maybe we picked on you a little too much. My Mama always said you catch more flies with honey than you do vinegar… so, I’m willing to meet you halfway. What if I volunteer for the Russell campaign AND give Rob $5? Oh, and does this count as a yard sign?

Then, if I asked very nicely – such as:

Dear Mr. Times-News Reporter:

As a reader of your newspaper, I must say your political coverage sometimes brings tears to my eyes. (It does. It really does.) And I would be ever so appreciative if you could cover the Democratic candidates in this election as proficiently as you’ve covered the Republicans. Could you please do that? Please? Oh pretty please with a cherry on top… or a beer. Your choice.

But after this, I’m definitely going to need the beer.

A.

Would something like that work?

If not, I’d feel compelled to tell you – I’ve always liked Don better anyway. Neener, neener.

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David Davis: Mind Reader Among Other Things

From the Times-News:

Both 1st Congressional District GOP incumbent David Davis and Republican challenger Phil Roe take hard-line positions on illegal immigration.

Davis indicates he knows exactly what people are thinking on the subject.

Oh really? I wonder if he knows what I’m thinking on this subject right now… and his efforts to address the problem? If so, I should probably apologize. It’s not nice to call people names like that.

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WARNING: I Attempt Manipulation in This Post

I hate manipulation of any type. I’m tired of it. Americans are constantly being manipulated by news media, politicians, special interest groups, ad companies, spouses, children, extended family – heck, even my dog manipulates me. I certainly don’t want to add to the daily assault.  This is why normally I would tell you – in a very forthright, non-manipulative way – Joe Powell has posted his interview with Rob Russell, Democratic Candidate for the 1st Congressional District. You should go read it.

The problem is, however, I know most of you. I lost 73% of the readers from East Tennessee at the word “Democratic,” didn’t I? Nevertheless, I think it’s important that you have this information. So – what other choice do I have but to try and manipulate you into clicking the link. (As long as I’m up-front about what I am doing, then it’s not as reprehensible as when the other guys do it, right?)

Unfortunately, I’m no master at manipulation. So, I had to conduct a bit of research into how it’s done before I could get started. This means I visited some Republican websites, Democratic Websites, Toys R Us, and Bill Hobbs. Now, I’m ready to give it a try:

Please start the music. No really, you must. It’s not the same without the background music.

My fellow voters, readers of this blog, friends of the internet and family: I am not going to use flowery, possibly plagiarized rhetoric to appeal to you or point out that you’re being duped. I am not going to mention that the incumbent, David Davis, might be wrong for Congress because he is beholden to big money donors or that his opponent Phil Roe has based in his entire campaign not on the issues – but the fact that he’s not David Davis and how “David Davis looks weird and smells slightly of bologna”. (Phil didn’t say that, but he is running an attack campaign. And I needed to make a bold, derogatory reference to the other guys while claiming I would make no derogatory references about the other guys, so I exaggerated, which seems to be acceptable when engaging in manipulation.)

I have too much respect for you to resort to those tactics. I know this is not what the voters in the district want. You want something better. You deserve something better. (Indicate willingness to give the American people what they want – unlike the other guys – even if you really don’t know what they want.)

See, I realize (as if to imply the other guys don’t) – we’re all in this together. Regardless of what side of the fence we’re on, we’re all hard-working, decent Americans, who share many of the same concerns and simply want to elect people who will represent us, our district, our people. (Establish sense of unity and cooperation.)

We want officials who will work toward economic stability. We’re tired of worrying about our jobs being shipped overseas. We’re tired of low wages, living from paycheck to paycheck and being without access to affordable health care. We’re tired of the needs of corporate interests being served before our own. We’re worried about the cost of the food and energy, things we so desperately need in order to provide for our families. (Instantly tapping into fears is common manipulation technique. Here, I’ve targeted worries about economy, job security, and general fear of deprivation – which are somewhat universal, but depending upon the audience, the text can be altered to create hysteria or sense of urgency about Muslims, Mormans, terrorist garb, fist bumps, global warming, immigrants taking over the southwest, patriarchy, black people with a chip on their shoulder, girls who run for President, the dangerous influence of old hippies, religion as a dominant power, war – and a general summary of the current administration’s exploits can be offered in order to exacerbate the country’s BDS.)

And we’re worried about the future of our children and what problems they will face – what kind of world we’re leaving for them. (Invoking the parental concern/responsibility has always been used as a technique for manipulation – but became the standard in 1996 after it was proven beyond the shadow of a doubt most parents were outrageously susceptible to such things.)

This is why it pains me to see you being manipulated by the media, tricked by the system and treated as though you cannot make your own decisions. We all know being a Democrat in this neck of the woods is like wearing as cloak of invisibility as far as the media is concerned – but sometimes lack of information is a form of manipulation too. And it is unfair to you as voters, as readers, and as viewers.

So, I’m not asking you to go read Joe’s blog just because you may be able to increase your earning potential by 52%, minimize the appearance of line and wrinkles, boost antioxidants and become aware of money-saving opportunities. I’m not asking you to read it just because some studies (notice I didn’t cite the source) have proven reading Joe’s blog can add five years to your life, may produce pheromones which make you more attractive to the opposite sex and can even increase the size of your breasts (or other body part which causes you to feel less confident) without surgical procedures.

No, there’s something bigger at stake here: your chance to be informed, involved and active in government. See, I believe you know what’s best for you and your family. I am confident that, if you are given the information you need, YOU will make the right decision, a good decision, the one that is right for you. I trust in you. (Flattery) So, I’ve decided it’s time to take a stand and I’d like you to join me. (Bestows power while at the same time Implying it’s patriotic duty to follow and do as instructed in order to avoid domination by others. )

I am not suggesting that you vote for Rob Russell. You can determine which candidate you support without my input or influence – but you should be aware of all the options, the candidates and the positions before you make this decision. Yeah, this means checking out Mahmood (Michael) Sabri, Joel Goodman and James Reeves too.

Then – if the Republicans continue their 130 year tradition of kickin’ donkey butt: at least we can all say it has been a fair and balanced fight. Seriously, we don’t want people running around thinking Republicans won just because the election was influenced by the press, do we? We want to win based on our viewpoints and ideas – if we can… right? (Equivalent of “Whatsa matter? Are you Chicken? Bock, bock.)

Also (for conspiracy buffs and loons) if you don’t follow the link, you’ll miss the part at the end where they reveal the nefarious, radical plot hatched by hippies in 1968 and financed by the Bilderberg Group to plant Democrats within the Republican party, where they would be better poised to take over the government, then the nation: a plan which is now coming to fruition. Or maybe that was some other blog. I can’t be sure. You could go check though.

And finally, if you love me…
If you’ve ever loved me…
If you like me just a little bit…
If you are smart, kind, wonderful, and decent…
If you are one of us and not one of them…
If you never steal candy from babies or mistreat poor defenseless puppies, you will go read this post.

And honestly, I’m surprised you haven’t been reading Joe already. I mean everybody is… well, all the cool, smart and pretty people anyway. I hear he hangs out with actors and rock stars. Plus this girl from Canada probably reads Joe and she’s on TV–>.

The End.

How did I do?

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Republicans and CEO’s in the Newspaper: Democrats at Joe’s

The Times-News has two interesting articles on national health care:

Dr. Richard Salluzzo, Wellmont’s outgoing CEO, tells reporter Sharon Caskey Hayes he supports Universal Health Care. Click here to read the report.

Political reporter Hank Hayes offers some insight as to where Phil Roe and David Davis, our 1st Congressional District GOP primary candidates, stand on the issue. Neither favor a government-backed single-payer national health care plan, the two primary rivals have their own ideas about creating more choices beyond employer-based health insurance coverage.

You can read the article here.

Essentially, Davis advocates associated health plans so small businesses can band together and create large insurance pools and offering tax credits to families to offset the cost of health insurance.

I can see some merit in Davis’ plan. For most small business, there is a painful growth period between start-up and generating enough profit to offer employees health benefits. Of course, the smaller the business, the higher the premiums – and this is a Catch 22 because it hinders growth. You cannot retain skilled and reliable workers without offering benefits. Once these workers are trained, knowledgeable and productive: they will seek better jobs. This turn-over affects overall quality and/or service and adds the burden of constantly recruiting and training new personnel.

So Davis’ ideas are good, but without some common sense regulation applied to industry –  I think it’s a lot like trying to spit on a California forest fire to put it out.

Meanwhile, Roe did not adequately address the issue at all. He tells Hayes he has a health care savings account, and his investment in the plan serves as incentive for him to take care of himself. Yeah, so? What about me? I have young children? This incentive encourages me to cocoon them in Lysol-coated bubble wrap, never allow them outdoors, demand all school classrooms and surfaces be Clorox’d five times daily and no snot-filled peers be permitted to violate their personal safety zone? Not terribly realistic – and considering the cost of medical treatment, lab testing, supplies and prescription drugs, common injuries and illness of childhood will burn through a spending account by early March.  So, I’m basically without health insurance for the remainder of the year.

Absent from media coverage is any mention of Democratic candidate Rob Russell and his position on health care – which annoys me a little. I realize the GOP primary is the hot race here and I understand it’s going to pick up a few more column inches… particularly since Roe is taking these little verbal potshots at Davis… and we love that don’t we? But, for many reasons, I think voters should be provided with somewhat equal and consistent information about all candidates throughout the process.

Fortunately for us, blogger Joe Powell is planning to interview Russell and provide this for his readers.

Other candidates for the seat are listed here. They’re quite an interesting bunch.

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