Discussing a Debacle

For several weeks (those being all the weeks since the November election) I’ve been watching these Northeast Tennessee Republicans strutting around, prematurely crowing and using bad eggs for chicken counting.  One could almost predict their lack of humility and faith in foregone conclusions would come back to bite them.

It did.

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The Simply Red Future of Tennessee

For the first time since the Reconstruction, the Republican Party has taken control of the Tennessee General Assembly – top to bottom, house to senate, the whole bicameral enchilada. (Go ahead. Take a moment. Laugh or Cry. Whatever suits you.) Personally, I think there’s a damn good reason why state political history is what it is – but eh, politics are kinda like fractions. Every now and then, folks need a refresher course.

Naturally, the Republicans are being terribly humble and gracious about their victory while the State Democrats are setting speed records for fastest finger-pointing in all the land. They’re blaming Obama and the National Party for not paying more attention to the state and/or McCain’s unusually muscular performance – which essentially means the same thing.

I guess the Obama/Baptist backlash might have been a factor. Heck, the fact that UT football wasn’t distracting enough Republican voters in the East might have been a factor. Mostly though, the Republicans won because they worked for it. They ran hard, mean, aggressive, poured money and manpower into the campaigns and did not let up until the polls closed on Tuesday. Meanwhile, the Tennessee Democratic Party was off… well hell, I don’t know what they were off doing but whatever it was, they apparently weren’t doing it right.

So what’s done is done. Better luck next time – and now we all look forward.

Folks around here seem to have different opinions on what this Red Assembly in the Orange State will mean. Mr. C thinks the Republican Majority means we should all move to Kentucky. Uncle Rube, on the other hand, claims a Republican Majority will ensure that nothing much gets spent – as opposed to Democratic Majorities, who hand out funding like it’s somebody else’s money.

I don’t agree with either of them and foresee lots of changes under a red rule – some good and some bad.

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Curiosity Killed the Democats

The preliminary numbers are in. Tennessee State Highway Patrol Lt. Ronnie Shirley accessed background information for at least 182 people. Col. Mike Walker speculated the trooper may have been driven by “nosiness.”

Seriously? After a preliminary investigation, “nosy” is the best “motive” they could invent?

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Mumpower’s Return to My Good Graces

Folks living downstream from the Eastman and Roy, who thinks used motor oil is good for the water, may breathe a sigh of relief.

A bill to eliminate most environmental investigations based on anonymous complaints has been withdrawn from consideration in the Legislature. The bill sponsored by House Minority Leader Jason Mumpower, a Bristol Republican, was removed Wednesday without explanation.

As introduced, the bill sought to deny anonymous complaints in 20 environmental areas, including radiation, air and water pollution and dams. The bill was crafted to cut down on bogus complaints, which have become quite commonplace in the Shady Valley Cranberry War, which is being waged in Mumpower’s district.

I’d complained about the bill here and mentioned Mumpower’s Mum’s the Word bill and Tommy Kilby breed-specific legislation banning all forms and varieties of pit bulls were part of a bet they’d made to see who could introduce the most outrageous legislation first.

I also offered both gentlemen a six-pack if they’d withdraw their bills and go sit in a corner for four months . While I am certain Mumpower opted to pull the bill of his own accord (because he is one of the brightest lawmakers on the Hill) and I realize both bills biting the dust is in no way related to offers of alcohol made on a tiny little blog post, which is lost among thousands of other blog posts… I am tempted nonetheless to offer a full bottle of bourbon to any lawmaker who gives Campfield a wedgie.

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If Only They'd Listen to Mumpower…

NASHVILLE, Tenn. (AP) – A new audit concludes that lottery players bought more than $2 million in Tennessee lottery tickets last summer that had no chance of winning because of a computer programming error.

On July 28, the Lottery switched from numbered balls to a computer program to generate winning numbers for its Cash 3 and Cash 4 drawings.

But an undetected programming error would not allow duplicate numbers to be drawn, so players with ticket numbers like 3-3-3 had no chance of winning.

The state comptroller’s office released an audit on Tuesday that concludes the problem was an accident and not an attempt by any company or individual to cheat the system.

However, the audit faults state Lottery officials for not responding to the problem sooner. The error was not fixed until after the midday draw on Aug. 20.

Bristol lawmaker and House Minority Leader Rep. Jason Mumpower is pushing for the return of old fashioned ping pong power-balls and a bigger cut for lottery retailers.

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Challengers for Vaughn and Mumpower

Tony Shipley, a Colonial Heights Republican, intends to run against 2nd District Rep. Nathan Vaughn, D-Kingsport, in the November election.

“It’s pretty obvious my East Tennessee beliefs are different from his New Jersey beliefs,” said Shipley, who will formally announce his candidacy on Friday.”[Vaughn] doesn’t represent our values. Period.”

(Ouch.)

Shipley appears to have support from all of the usual Republican places.

Meanwhile, Vaughn said he looks forward to being challenged this year because the campaign will give him a chance to discuss his accomplishments in Nashville.

“I’m excited about that because I’ve got a very good story to tell,” Vaughn said. “We’ve had a lot of successes over the course of my last three terms.”

(Betcha he won’t tell this one.)

Leah Kirk of Bristol, Tenn., picked up petitions Feb. 8 but has yet to return them to the elections office with the necessary signatures.

If she completes the paperwork and wins the August Democratic primary, she would challenge Rep. Jason Mumpower, R-Bristol, in November.

County Democratic Executive Committee Chairman Larry Hall said he had spoken with Kirk about a possible run for office earlier this year, but he was uncertain if she was still interested in challenging Mumpower.

 

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What Had Happened Was… (The Legislative Tomfoolery Begins)

As stated before, I’m not pleased with this anti-environmental bill Jason Mumpower is pushing.

I’ll admit – I might be overly sensitive about the issue because I live downstream from the Eastman. Or maybe it’s because I’m in an area where it is not uncommon to hear things like: “What the hell are you doin’ Roy. Holy Smokes! You can’t pour that in the creek!”

Whatever the reason, Mumpower’s move to prohibit the Department of Environment and Conservation from undertaking investigations or enforcement actions based solely on tips from anonymous sources AND require authorities to obtain the name and address of those asking for an investigation… Wait, sit back down. I’m not finished yet… AND prohibit local governments from issuing a formal complaint or taking any investigatory or enforcement action on the basis of information received from, or allegations made by, an anonymous source (whew) seems irresponsible and short-sighted to me.

Of course, to be fair, as Kleinheider so graciously noted, the following phrase is included in the bill: [T]his section shall not prevent the department from taking any action deemed necessary in the case of imminent danger to human health and safety.

Oh, thank goodness. That makes me feel so much better. Now, let me make sure I understand.  An employee of Large Corporation files a complaint that the Large Corporation is dumping toxic sludge into the river, but does so anonymously.  How is it they are supposed to determine if this is a frivolous complaint or a case posing imminent danger to human health or safety? Do they wait until (1) there are reports of mutation in aquatic wildlife (b) the local fishermen start glowing in the dark or (c) the River changes colors again?

Would an investigation be permissible then?

Look, I understand gripes arising from the Cranberry Clash are probably workin’ the lawmaker’s last nerve – but the statistics provided by the TDEC simply do not justify this legislation. I am also concerned by Mumpower’s comment: “… when the TDEC comes knocking at your door and says a complaint has been filed against you, you have no idea who the complainant is.”

Does this mean the TDEC would be required not only to obtain the name and address of person(s) filing a complaint – but to release the information to the alleged violator? Here? In East Tennessee? Where petty retribution is considered a sport the whole family can enjoy? Are you sure this a good plan?

You know, I’m disappointed because (a) after finally getting Republicans to admit there is an environment and it might be important – this seems like a step backwards. And (b) I didn’t expect this from Mumpower.  He has always seemed rather level-headed, intelligent and capable.

Then… just when I thought nothing more rotten could slide down the Hill: I discover over at Cup of Joe Powell  that Senator Tommy Kilby (D) has decided it’s a good idea to ban ownership of pit bulls. I won’t list all the reasons why breed specific legislation is just wrong: other people already have: (Read Joe, Aunt B, Newscoma, Say Uncle, and The Editor.)

At this point,  my faith in our state government has been fundamentally shaken. Okay, not really. I didn’t have much faith to begin with and I wasn’t particularly surprised by Kilby’s bill. Banning stuff seems to be a hobby for him: video games, gay marriage, smoking, abortion rights… By the way, are ya’ll sure he’s a Democrat?  Nevertheless, the general assembly hasn’t been in session for a whole month yet. Doesn’t it usually take longer for the tomfoolery to begin? How could two pieces of asinine legislation come up so quickly? What was it – a contest?

A contest? Yes! That’s it! It all makes sense now.

See, what had happened was… Jason Mumpower and Tommy Kilby probably arrived in Nashville a bit early. While waiting for the session to begin, they got together over lunch. They started arguing over who was better: Democrats or the Republicans. Then, they moved on to squabbling about who had gotten more publicity last session. Finally, they made a wager. The first lawmaker to introduce the most outrageous piece of legislation and get their name in the Tennessean + four other papers had to buy the other a beer. Then, if one bill resulted in a protest march – the pay off would be two beers.  That’s the only logical explanation.

So, I have a solution. Whereas I hate Nashville and carrying protest signs for an extended period of time tends to make my arms hurt… if both of you will withdraw your bills immediately and go sit in a corner for the next four months or so, I’ll buy you a six pack apiece and we’ll call it tie.

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